He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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