Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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