We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I think people are normalizing furries
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
