Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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