So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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