I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
