I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
