Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
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Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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