omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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