what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I looked at my own cervix.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
