I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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