Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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