if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
