i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize