1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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