she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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