Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize