The maid of honor just puked.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
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my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
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Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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