Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
