My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
