real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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