just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
