I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
