Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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