No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
