I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
