I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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