it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
