yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize