i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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