I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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