Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
