i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
