she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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