I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
