Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
