I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
