She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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