I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Please, let me fuck your mom
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I love having hate sex.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
