But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
