I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
