she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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