The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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