sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
