Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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