Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
