oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
