Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
