i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
