he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
