super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
