just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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