There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Ambien. No doubt about it.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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