I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
