She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize