The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i will never coherently bang her
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
