NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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